For most people, reflecting back to Sex Ed brings up all kinds of awkward feelings. While you may have learned how to put a condom on a banana, Sex Ed likely didn’t leave you with the belief that sex and pleasure is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.
At flossy, we’re always looking for ways to re-write the sexual script in one that feels inclusive and pleasure-centered. We invited Danielle Bezalel, aka “DB” – creator, executive producer, host of Sex Ed with DB – a feminist podcast that covers LGBTQ+ health, BDSM, birth control, abortion, body image, porn and so much more! Oh… and DB is flippin’ hilarious so you'll never be bored with this in your ears.
Danielle Bezalel, MPH (she/her/hers)Creator, Executive Producer, Host of Sex Ed with DB
If Sex Ed with DB were a song, what would it be?
A-Z Pleasure Centered Sex Ed Glossary
Abortion: An abortion is a very safe and effective way to end a pregnancy. In fact, abortion is statistically safer than childbirth. There are various kinds of abortions, including medication abortion, aspiration abortion, dilation and curettage (D&C), and dilation and evacuation (D&E). BIPOC and poor people have been criminalized for abortions for decades. Donate to your local abortion fund now by clicking this link. Always check the abortion laws in your state before moving forward with an abortion. Click here to learn more about abortion from Planned Parenthood.
Birth Control: We know what we know about birth control because of unethical experimentation on BIPOC women. Birth control is an incredible tool to prevent pregnancy with some positive side effects and some negative side effects -- the side effects each person experiences can be different depending on your body and mind. Click here to learn more about birth control from Planned Parenthood.
Body Image: Body Image is the mental picture one forms of one’s body as a whole, including its physical characteristics and one’s attitudes toward these characteristics; body image also includes how you think others see you, changes overtime and is formed because of many factors. These factors include family environment, ability or disability, the attitudes of peers, social media, cultural background, and more. Click here to learn about body image from The Body Positive.
Consent: Consent is an agreement to do something with someone else. When we think consent, we think FRIES: consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. Consent is MANDATORY and adds so much pleasure, openness, and trust within a relationship, whether that be sexual, romantic, platonic, familial, etc. Click here to learn more about sexual consent from Planned Parenthood.
Healthy Relationships: Everyone deserves to be in a healthy, loving, mutually beneficial relationship if that’s what they want! Healthy relationships have trust, honesty, respect, love, equality, kindness, joy, and healthy conflict. Click here to learn more about healthy relationships from the One Love Foundation.
LGBTQ+ Health: LGBTQ+ folks are deserving of love, respect, and pleasure. The LGBTQ+ community is not a monolith and all identities, experiences, and challenges within the LGBTQ+ community are unique and deserving of meaningful care and attention. Creating safe and inclusive school and home environments for LGBTQ+ youth are critical to their safety and wellbeing. Click here to learn more about LGBTQ+ advocacy from GLSEN.
Masturbation and Pleasure: Masturbation is normal and healthy!!! Everyone deserves pleasure if they want it and everyone should know that the orgasm gap exists and needs to change. Toys are incredible ways to improve sex with yourself and/or with a partner (if you’re over 18). Masturbation is fun and an incredible way to get to know your body and desires! Click here to learn more about masturbation and pleasure from O.school.
Periods: Menstruation is the shedding of blood and other materials from the uterus aka a period. People of all genders can get periods and while the average menstrual cycle is 28 days, everyone’s cycle can be different. How heavy or light a period is can depend on the person; some people experience more challenging period symptoms than others. Click here to learn more about menstruation from Planned Parenthood.
Porn Literacy: In the US, more than 1 in 4 kids have already seen hardcore pornography online by age 11. 2 in 3 kids have already seen hardcore pornography online by age 15. Teaching kids the difference between porn and real-life sex is critical to their understanding of sex and relationships. Click here to learn more about teaching young kids about porn literacy from AMAZE.
Reproductive Justice: The Reproductive Justice framework was invented by The Women of African Descent for Reproductive Justice in 1994. SisterSong (a reproductive health organization in Atlanta, Georgia) defines Reproductive Justice as the human right to maintain personal bodily autonomy, have children, not have children, and parent the children we have in safe and sustainable communities. This is what all people need and deserve. Click here to learn about reproductive justice from SisterSong.
Sex and Disability: People with a range of intellectual and physical disabilities deserve (and experience) a variety of healthy relationships. It’s essential we learn from people with disabilities when it comes to the fullest range of sexual and reproductive health information and care they need and want. Click here to learn about sex ed and disability from Project SHINE.4
Sexual Myths: There are honestly too many out there to name but if you have heard something about sex and aren’t sure if it’s true or not, check out the free and anonymous app, OkaySo, to learn from vetted experts about anything and everything sex, identity, and relationships.
What 3-4 things would you recommend everyone have in their pleasure toolkit?
Ouuu, good question! Definitely:
- A sex toy that makes you feel good (if you’re over 18)
- Contraception / condoms if you’re having penetrative sex and want to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs
- Your favorite ethical porn (if you’re over 18).