Our relationship with pleasure can be complex and it may take time to unlearn societal narratives of what pleasure ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ look like for you.

Pleasure can be found in everything if we are mindful. It brightens our lives, be it a sensual or sexual pleasure. I also think a covid world where we are at home more presented us with an opportunity to connect and focus on pleasure and cater to our senses and some of us ran with it as evident by the high sales of sex toys wink wink lol.

I wanted to create a space that did everything in its power to go against that. A space where movement is allowed to be whatever you want it to be on the day, there are no expectations. At Good Times we focus on facilitating a movement experience free of shame and movement fear, that’s empowering and joyful, that doesn’t pretend or perform and instead welcomes you to have a human experience.

The patriarchy often denies that people with vulvas can be sexual agents who make moral decisions in light of their own sexual desires. In heterosexual relationships, for example, the patriarchy reinforces that women should have sex with male partners regardless of whether or not they desire it, or are likely to find it pleasurable.

This week, we asked, you answered —"What's something you wished you learned in sex ed?" In a recent flossy survey, even something as common as vaginismus was information one woman reported not finding out about until her honeymoon when she had penetrative sex for the first time! 

First and foremost, start with exploring yourself. Either with a mirror or by simply closing your eyes – it will be trial and error and certain products will work for some folks and not others. You are your own artist and you can curate your own pleasure based on your body… which is always changing.

In a society that praises heterosexual, monogamous experiences, it's common to wonder if your fantasies are "normal." Sex Educator Eleni Gabrielides says "fantasies are a wonderful tool to spark arousal" and even if you think our fantasy is weird and abnormal, simply thinking about something isn't your subconscious telling you that it’s something you want to do IRL.

A sexually liberated society is a healthy, connected and empowered society. When we are sexually liberated, we understand that sex goes beyond the physical experience or orientation – beyond gender identity and beyond social expectations. As sexually liberated beings we will understand that our sexual expression is how we choose to engage with life. 

We surveyed over 2000 people in the flossy audience and you might be surprised to learn that only one of the top 10 reasons had any mention of masturbating when they feel "horny." The other top nine could easily have the word "masturbate" swapped out for "yoga" and you'd never know we were talking about self-pleasure.

Navigating sex and dealing with PCOS and endometriosis has been quite the never ending battle you could say. With saying that… until recently I have not put in the time my body deserved in understanding the somatic/physical response between the conditions and my sex life. It is so important to understand not only the physical but also the deep rooted embodied response as well. 

Speaking up when sex is painful can feel near impossible, especially when we’re conditioned to just “deal with it.” Shame-free pleasure is about letting go of culturally-engrained narratives we’re conditioned to abide by, and self-advocating not only during the best of times but during the hard times too. It’s often assumed that communicating boundaries is a bad thing, when in fact it sets a foundation of trust so that both partners can fully relax and enjoy.

As humans, we are hard-wired to want to put things into neat boxes with distinct labels, but when it comes to sex and sexuality, there are about a million little factors that contribute to our relationship to self and to partner(s) that simply won't fit into a box... no matter how hard you try. This binary mindset around libido - either you have it or you don't have it - eliminates the MANY different things that contribute to our experiences of arousal and desire.