Before we dive in, we would like to acknowledge that pleasure comes in many forms. Together with our community, we aim to create a space where everyone feels safe to explore their unique experiences of pleasure.
At any given moment, how we feel about ourselves and how we experience pleasure is based on the following:
- Our sensory experience
- Our Emotional Experience
- Our Mental / Intellectual Experience
- Our physical experience
In the words of selfmade Mental Health Advisor, Dr. Jeshana Avent-Johnson, PhD, “Experiencing pleasure is to be fully awake to our senses and the joy of being sensually liberated.”
For Pleasure’s Sake: Why it’s Important to Prioritize Pleasure
Our brains are hardwired for pleasure-seeking. While it has a long history of being seen as “overly indulgent” – often alluded to in the common phrase “guilty pleasure” – the experience of pleasure in the body is directly related to overall satisfaction and wellbeing.
Our relationships to pleasure can be complex and it may take time to unlearn societal narratives of what pleasure ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ look like for you. Pleasure is, however, a fundamental component of wellbeing, and the more we are able to prioritize it in our daily lives, the more deeply we can understand ourselves and our experience of the world around us.
Step 1: Reflect on What Pleasure Looks Like for You
Like people, pleasure comes in all shapes and sizes. Take a moment to reflect on what pleasure looks like for you. You are the only person who is in control of shaping and sharing your unique approach to pleasure.
Maybe pleasure for you looks like a slow morning walk in nature with no set destination. Or maybe it unfolds through noticing your breath while engaging in self-pleasure. It could be sharing an intimate moment with a close friend over the phone who you know you can feel safe and open with.
Here are a few prompts to get you started:
- Sensory — what kind of tastes, sounds and smells bring you the most pleasure?
- Emotional — when was a time that you felt pleasure because of your emotional experience at the time?
- Mental / Intellectual — are there certain art forms, books, or people that feel intellectually stimulating for you?
- Physical — when do you feel safest and most grounded in your body? What sensations do you notice in your body?
Make a list of the moments that stand out to you most and keep it on hand for step 2.
Step 2: Integrate Your Pleasure Practice Using Habit Stacking
The easiest way to introduce a new habit is to “stack it” on top of ones that already exist, aka “habit stacking”. Imagine your doctor prescribes medicine that you must take at the same time each day. What do you do? You take the pill each day after you brush your teeth (current habit #1) and before you get into bed (current habit #2).
Feeling pleasure is also a skill that requires practice and experience to hone in on what feels right for you. And sometimes taking baby steps is more satisfying than jumping straight in. So #practicepleasure with your favorite body oil or lotion and create a new habit of self-touch right after steamy showers to not only lock in moisture to skin but stimulate the senses. Or make it another healthy habit to satisfy your skin’s hunger with a massage right before bed. Taking time to bliss out is juuuuust the right habit to stack in your routine to make change feel seamless and pleasure more attainable.
Step 3: Self-Attune Regularly for a Sustainable Pleasure Routine
By regularly practicing bringing awareness to your body during your pleasure routine, you will be able to get out of your head and more into your body, allowing you to be more present and experience pleasure more fully. You may notice over time your capacity to experience pleasure deepens or changes, so regularly checking in with yourself can help you determine if your pleasure routine needs slight adjustments or new components added.
Bonus Tip: communicating what you notice about your experience of pleasure over time with a partner is a great way to cultivate connection and intimacy.
What a Sample Pleasure Routine Might Look Like
- Start by setting the mood with the ‘Warm me up’ flossy candle and cozying up in your favorite corner for a 10-minute body scan meditation.
- Once finished, take 2-3 drops of the Self Disclosure Intimacy Serum to explore and nourish your genitals and/or other erogenous areas.
- Going with where the mood takes you, maybe you decide to deepen your pleasure with a sleek bullet vibrator like Dip.
- Afterward, you take out your notebook and ask yourself “what do I feel when I touch myself?” Reflecting on this question you might think about how you felt in your body, how you were breathing, and any thoughts or emotions that came up.